Taeyang: Eyes Nose Lips~

How To Live With Yourself After You Break Someone’s Heart

Imagine that someone in this world loves you more than any song can song, and any phrase can express.  You are the first thing on his mind every morning, and the last thing on his mind every night. He worships you.  He can’t go more than ten minutes wondering what you are doing, and if you are happy.  Your happiness and success are his only goals in life.

You are literally his drug.  He doesn’t need narcotics or booze because you are his high.  Everything you are, is everything he wants and the only thing he needs.  He would take a bullet for you.  He would kill someone for you.  His love is that real.

And he tells you all the time, “I love you so much.”  And you can feel it in his presence. You can see it in the way he looks at you and the way he bares his soul. In the way that he has made himself a better person, for you.

It is a fairytale.  Except that it isn’t.

The only problem is you don’t love him back.  Maybe you did at one time and have fallen out of love.  Maybe you never loved him at all.  Maybe you do love him, but not enough to save you. How do you live with yourself, knowing that you have literally crushed the soul of another? How do you sleep knowing that you may have scarred him for life? Knowing that he may never be able to love someone else, because of you.

The answer is simple: time and conscious thought.  Time doesn’t completely heal all wounds, but it can help.  At first it will seem like a selfish act…you are the villain.  But in time you will understand that your happiness and your choices are just that, yours.  Do your choices affect others? Absolutely.  But can continue to blame yourself for the way other people choose to feel? Absolutely not. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to love whomever the hell you please. You are responsible for you, and that’s it.

Stop beating yourself up about it.  Stop pitying him.  He will get over it someday, on his own accord, when he is damn well ready.  When he starts to take responsibility for his own happiness, and his own choices, he will be free from you. And he will feel stronger, and more able because of it.

Maybe he didn’t deserve for you to break his heart.  But he certainly didn’t deserve your guilted-love either.  Maybe he will find someone else, maybe he will never love again.  Either way, that isn’t your concern.  Take pride in the fact that you are brave enough to know what you want, and make the hard decisions that need to be made.

You aren’t a bad person because you broke someone’s heart.  You aren’t a villain for not returning someone else’s love.  You’re human.  Someone may break your heart someday and then maybe you’ll understand both sides of the coin.  But until then, remind yourself that no matter how much he loved you; you loved yourself a little more.

Because eventually you will find someone who you love, just as much as he loved you. And if you’re lucky, that person will love you too.

By Caitlin Rose.

Another Love~ ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

I wanna take you somewhere so you know I care

But it's so cold and I don't know where

I brought you daffodils in a pretty string

But they won't flower like they did last spring

And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright

I'm just so tired to share my nights

I wanna cry and I wanna love

But all my tears have been used up

Spice Girls~

Its crazy to think its 18 years ago when this album was released (in 1996). It was one of the first albums I ever purchased and back then when you were 10years old, £12 was a lot of money! I used to know how to sing this whole album back to front! This album always puts an instant smile to my face ^_^ -Feeling nostalgic.

And their Greatest Hits (in 2007)

My personal favorite songs are Say You'll Be There, 2 Become 1, Mama, Too Much and Viva Forever.

#SpiceGirlsFanForever

Summary Of Past Few Months~

Finally! I have some time to update my so-called blog after my last entry 4 months ago. I must admit, I am very bad at keeping up to date. But anyway, a lot has happened over the past few months. I will highlight some of the most memorable moments throughout the months.

Start of October 2013: Booked flights to go to Canada with the girlfriend for a couple weeks in May 2014. Super excited! Last time I was there, it was 11 years ago! Can't believe how time has flown and I still remember it like it was yesterday. But this time going should be a bit more fun as I'm a lot older now, therefore I can go drinking haha! Also because I'm going with my partner in crime. She's a lot of fun to be around.
Mid October: Went to visit my girlfriend in Manchester. Had plenty of drinks and cigarettes although I think I tend to smoke when I'm around her. Had great fun, as usual. I have decided I will make it a yearly visit every October to go see her. It's crazy to think that I met this crazy little miss 10 years ago and we went from being strangers to becoming really good friends. And although she has moved abroad, things are always the same every time she's back in Ireland.
End of October: It was my birthday at the end of October and usually I would have a joint birthday with the girlfriend as her birthday is just a week after mine. I went out to dinner in Ballsbridge to celebrate although I'm not a birthday person.
I've also started Pole dancing classes with Alison and Bonnie. It is hard work! Need a lot of upper body strength. But hey, no pain, no gain. Although I'm not trying to gain anything, it's just something I've always wanted to do but had always been shy to. Hah! Me shy?! Hm....

Start of November 2013: Brought my cutie little brother to the airport as he is jetting of to South Korea for 3 whole months. Lucky him! 
It was my grandmother's 5th year anniversary and it made me think of her for the whole day. She's my biggest inspiration and it brought a lot of tears to many people when she passed away.
Mid November: Got my braces off after 2 years, 5 months and 10 days later. I was suppose to keep track and take pictures and blog about it each time I had to get a tightening done but I've been so lazy and kind of forgot most of time so I'm going to scratch that off my list.
Started my 2nd term in Pole dancing. Still going strong! :)
Went to see my first ballet- Romeo and Juliet at the Bord Gais Theatre.
My love came home from America and I had never felt so happy to see him! Although he was home for the Summer and we had some issues, this time was different. As cheesy as it sounds, I've never met anyone like him before. He is some character for one character. We do have our differences but I guess that's why we mesh well together as he brings out the randomness in me and I keep him grounded for when he is up in the clouds. I guess no one will ever understand 'us'. And I like that.

December 2013: Can't think of any memorable moments in December except for it was Christmas! To be honest, I have never, ever, enjoyed Christmas. I'm a very 'home-ly' girl and had always enjoyed it when I was younger and having our family get together etc etc. But the past few years have been so over hyped and all about who got the better present or how much it was worth. There was nothing so 'family' about it since my parents divorced. But Christmas 2013- I had a good one.
That being said, it all came to a crashing halt when I found out something I shouldn't have about 'him'. It made me feel so down I didn't know what to do and to act being all right and all, it was just unreal. I don't even know how I endured the pain but I'm glad I had to go through that experience as it wouldn't have made me realize that I am a strong person.
End of December: Went to Mayo!! With the invincible 12- Me, Craig, Yan, Alan, Bonnie, Orla, Bacon, Mary, Ben, Gavin, Owen and Aisling. Had an amazing time and I can't stop thinking of the laughs and bants we had. And plus all those drinks we had playing beer pong/ big 2/ Monopolydeal/ Mahjong and what not. We stayed for 3 nights and on the 2nd night, the heating went so we were stuck in a house with no heating or hot water. Also, the rain was coming in through the letter box and Orla had to get tea towels and stuff the door. Was funny. And I got drunk @_@ The house was very beautiful and it was a great time to relax after the hectic festivity.

Anyway, I'm going to finish this blog up now as it's getting pretty late. My new years resolution?
To blog more often. Ha! X

In life, not everyone gets a second chance. If you are given a second chance- consider yourself abso-fucking-lutely lucky. Oh, and don't fuck up. 

Love is.......

Just been randomly inspired to do this blog after spending 3 whole hours watching The Ultimate Hits Of The 00's. What can I say? The 00's were full of love songs which brought me to think of a friend who has just been through a horrible breakup. I've tried telling him that even though you love the person/ in love with the person, sometimes it doesn't necessary mean you have to have the person. For me, loving someone means seeing them happy from afar even if they're with someone else and that someone else isn't you.
Love is a funny thing. It comes and goes. Even if you have broken up with the person, the love doesn't stop just there. I know it's a cliche but it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Sometimes I feel when I want something- I have to get it. I get super excited and sometimes cannot eat or sleep for days just from thinking about it. But when I am close to getting it- I step back and think will I be happy with it? I'd rather keep this feeling of having loved it at some point in my life rather than risking having it and not being happy. You always cherish what you have lost but by then, it's too late.

Love is patient. Instead of going out to find it, let it find you.

Things fall apart for better things to fall together.

It is hard to find someone you really love with your whole heart. Love knows no boundaries. I think I'd like to have someone who loves me more than I love him. I have found that person.
The past couple of weeks have made me realize that I cannot lose him. I think sometimes when I spend too much time on my own, I start to have crazy thoughts on thinking how things won't work out and I'm not going to lie- my heart has swayed. But it's all for the wrong reasons. I don't want to lose what I have- what I have is too special to lose. I think, as they say, communication is key.
I'm a very out there kind of person and I chat a lot- random stuff- life stuff. And I would need someone who can catch up with my pace.

Everybody remembers their first love. I certainly remember mine. He was a cool kid. Not very chatty. Kind of reserved. But being around him made me feel 'at ease'. Things didn't work out between us as we were friends first- then it escalated to being more than just friends. It all happened too quick too soon. I, being young at that time, broke up with him. He was pretty hurt for a while but I'm sure he's over it now. After all these years, we remained friends. 'Good friends' as I like to call it. But in my heart, I, myself, will always remember the good (and the bad) times we had. Everyone changes- but memories will always remain untouched. I wish him nothing but happiness in the future. 

AfterSchool- First Love

Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na

I was so young back then, I could only see you
I didn’t need anything if we could be together

We fought a lot about things that weren’t a big deal
When I think about it, only laughter comes out

Sometimes I’m so curious about you, I could die
But there’s nothing I can do about it now

Sometimes I think of you and I miss you so much
But I will just bury it in as beautiful memories

First love, my unforgettable love
Why does it hurt so much? Am I the only one who remembers?
First love, I call out to you with this desperate voice
Until it can reach you, until always

Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na

Hello? Just saying that one word is hard so I can’t even call you
I’m sorry that I didn’t treat you better, I’m so sad over you
I can’t be held by you anymore, even in my dreams
Don’t ever hurt again and be happy, I will pray for you

The past memories flicker before me, I can’t do anything
Why am I such a fool?

First love, my unforgettable love
Why does it hurt so much? Am I the only one who remembers?
First love, I call out to you with this desperate voice
Until it can reach you, until always

I close my eyes in this moment, tears flow in this moment
Why am I so pathetic, still not over you?
Without a choice, I’ll pray for your happiness

Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na

Drake- Hold On We're Going Home

I got my eyes on you

You're everything that I see

I want your high loving me motion

And lastly, I can't get over you

You left your mark on me

I want your high loving me motion endlessly

Cause you're a good girl and you know it

You act so different around me

Cause you're a good girl and you know it

I know exactly who you could be

Just hold on we're going home

Just hold on we're going home

It's hard to do these things alone

Just hold on we're going home

I got my eyes on you

You're everything that I see

I want your high loving me motion

And lastly, I can't get over you

You left your mark on me

I want your high loving me motion endlessly

Cause you're a good girl and you know it

You act so different around me

Cause you're a good girl and you know it

I know exactly who you could be

Just hold on we're going home

Just hold on we're going home

It's hard to do these things alone

Just hold on we're going home

You're the girl

You're the one

Gave you everything I love

I think there's something, baby

I think there's something, baby

You're the girl

You're the one

Gave you everything I love

I think there's something, baby

I think there's something, baby

Cause you're a good girl and you know it

You act so different around me

Cause you're a good girl and you know it

I know exactly who you could be

Just hold on we're going home

Just hold on we're going home

It's hard to do these things alone

Just hold on we're going home